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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Down to the Wire

I’ve been busy with last minute preparations – every day I seem to think of one more thing that needs to be done, one more chore around the house I don’t think I’ll have time for once the boys arrive. Our baby shower was a wonderful success and we received so many things we’ll need from our friends and neighbors. I don’t think I’ve ever opened so many presents at once in my life. We still have a few things to buy, and I’m sure there will be things we didn’t anticipate that we’ll get once the boys are here.

The nursery is complete, other than missing the dresser and changing table. We ordered it with the cribs last December, and it looks like it’s not coming anytime soon. Apparently all furniture is now made in Asia and takes months to get to the U.S. I guess we’ll figure something out. I washed all their clothes in Dreft last week, and I discovered the joy of folding tiny clothes and sorting out little socks. We installed a video monitor, put together vibrating, music-playing swings, and made space in the storage room for diapers and items we won’t need immediately, like high chairs.

This past weekend was busy with yard work, window cleaning, another neighborhood 1st birthday party, and time with friends. I’m already feeling exhausted, so I suppose I should get used to this feeling. Our surrogate is on bed rest and feeling very uncomfortable with both babies kicking. She’s still scheduled for a May 5th birth, but we know it could come sooner. I think our biggest fear at this point is getting a call that they’re coming “right now” and we don’t get a chance to be there in time for the birth. If all goes as scheduled on the 5th, we’ll fly out on the 4th. We’re hoping they keep growing for the next three weeks and won’t need to spend time, or not much time, in the NICU anyway. They were estimated to be over 4 pounds each a couple weeks ago, so they’re doing well for size.

I’ve recently had a few panicky dreams, usually with me alone with the babies, unable to do things I need to do. I’ve been told this is normal for first time parents. Mostly my thoughts are about what they’ll look like, what their personalities will be like, what it’ll be like to run errands with one or both of them. I tend to get a little panicky in anticipation of any huge, life-altering event. I don’t know why I worry so much about all the little details. Like everyone with babies tells me, you just do what you have to do, and as difficult as it is at times, it’s wonderful!

I had one more major purchase last month. After trying the baby car seats in my old car and figuring out how to wedge the double stroller into the trunk, I realized that it just wasn’t going to work. I had to move the driver’s seat up so far, my knees were against the dash board. I looked online at minivans for about five minutes before deciding against buying one. I don’t like how minivans handle, it would be too big for our garage, and then they don’t get the best gas mileage. I had noticed that Prius’ have plenty of leg room in the back seat, plus the hatchback, so I took the baby gear down to the Toyota dealership to see how it would all fit. There was plenty of room, plus space in the rear for the stroller and diaper bags. I don’t know if it’s an optical illusion or what, but Prius’ are bigger than they look. So after years with no car payment, it was time to buy something new and I’m very happy with my Prius and the 48 mpg. I’m getting.

We finally came to a compromise on one other issue – church. Nick had been going to a Catholic church in recent years and insisted that the babies be baptized. I pointed out all my problems with the Catholic Church, and I had a huge problem with him trying to raise them Catholic. The compromise was to join a Presbyterian church that’s somewhat similar in liturgy to Catholicism, but very different in doctrine. We found out many of our neighbors attend this church, and they accept gay people as they are. In fact, they were thrilled to find out that we were a couple having children. It’s a very open, caring environment, and the church is very much into environmentalism and global and local missions, so we feel very comfortable and welcome in this church.

1 comment:

Kathryn said...

Hello, this is Kathryn Grim. I tried to reach you by e-mail yesterday, but just in case I got the wrong address, I thought I'd write to you here as well.

I'm a journalism grad student at Northwestern University in Chicago, and I write for our wire service, Medill News Reports. (You can read a recent article here:

I'm very interested in interviewing you for an article I'm working on about surrogacy and gay parents. Please contact me at my email address, kathryn.grim @