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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Babies Still Growing!

It’s been a while since an update, but the babies have been growing. The latest report is that they’re about a pound and a half each, in the 90th percentile for size and very active. (my apologies to our poor surrogate for the nighttime kicking!) That’s great, since they’re twins. We have another appointment in a couple weeks, but so far everything is going great. The doctor also set the date for birth (induced labor or c-section, depending) for May 5th, an entire month earlier than the original due date. I can’t believe we only have about 9 weeks!

We’re still waiting on the nursery furniture to arrive, but the room is painted, closet organizer is in, and we already have some clothes, diapers and other things donated by neighbors who had leftovers. We’ve been gathering names, addresses, and e-mail addresses for our neighbor who’s coordinating our baby shower next month. I think we’re inviting over 70 people, so it could be a full house. We’ll also serve brunch and Mimosas, so it should be festive. I never imagined I'd be having a baby shower in my lifetime, but it's going to be fun.

With the date closing in, I’ve had odd dreams – some scary, like me being home alone with the babies and unable to leave or get any sleep. Others have been about playing with them when they’re older and crawling. More than one person told me this is typical for first time parents who don’t really know what to expect. I suppose it’s anxiety mixed with anticipation and happiness. Everyone says the parental instinct kicks in and you do what you have to do. I also wonder what they’ll look like all the time, how tall they’ll become and what activities they’ll someday participate in.

I haven’t talked much to my parents lately. Maybe twice this year to my mom. She keeps telling me to pray for them in the womb, check out their church website for parenting tips, and other odd things. I think she’s really gone off the deep end with her religious beliefs at this point. I have no contact with any other family members and we’re not inviting them to the baby shower. I doubt they’d drive all the way anyway, but I dont' think I would feel comfortable with them here. I have a feeling they may come out sometime after the boys are born, and I’m afraid I’ll dread it with all the “in your face” religion I’ve been getting. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.


Kristin said...

Hi and congrats on your healthy growing babies. Is there a reason that the doctor wants them to be born premature? Generally with twins it is best for them to gestate as long as possible. It really is in their best interests to stay in there as long as possible. Babies are born when they are ready, and 36 weeks is very very little. They will probably require spending time in NICU which is going to cause problems for your early bonding and health. I really would encourage you to think it over and consider asking them to allow the babies to be born when they are ready.

Vera said...

Hi; I'm a mother of twins and also a teacher who does multiples-specific prenatal consulting on the side... I currently have a client expecting twins through a surrogacy and am looking for
a) some guidance myself as this is the first gay male couple I will have dealt with
b) some support for my client; ideally, I'd love to hook them up with another couple in similar situation. (I know there are twins support groups, and gay parenting support groups, but haven't found a gay parents of twins support group yet, lol!)

Please contact me if you would like to exchange further information. Thanks!

vera said...

Oops, P.S. I'm in Toronto at

GayDad said...


Thanks! They'll be 4 weeks early - which seems to be fairly normal from all the twin moms I know in our neighborhood. They're already estimating their weight to be well above average, and then they also aren't counting the week they spent "outside the womb", when they actually fertilized the eggs, pre-implantation. Our surrogate is now on bed rest because she was having false contractions and just beginning to dilate a week ago.

I know I'm not a pregnancy expert, so hopefully what I've posted makes sense. I really hate the idea of them being in the NICU because of the bonding issue, like you mentioned, and of course health issues. We have neighbors who recently had triplettes and they've been in the NICU for 3 weeks, but doing well. If they're in the NICU for a week or more, I'll have to return home to work, but my partner can work from California and we have friends near the hospital where he can stay, so at least he'll be able to see them daily. I'm just hoping that's not the scenario.