Patience is a Virtue

So how much patience do you have? Think you have what it takes to be a parent? I’ve never considered myself to be a patient person at all, so I have to be proud of myself this morning.

Reid had an appointment with an ENT specialist because of his ear infection and tonsil issue. He’s doing better after a week on antibiotics, but he doesn’t seem to be completely over it. I had to take both boys, so I was dreading this trip to a new doctor. I left early, expecting heavy traffic, plus I’ve never been to this particular doctor and wanted to allow time to find the place. Reid and Dylan were happy to be going somewhere in the car and did their “chair dancing” to music on the radio the whole way there. I was thinking they were in such a good mood, this just might turn out to be an easy doctor visit.

The boys ran toward the building, racing to the big blue button that they’ve figured out opens doors on every building. “C’mon Dylan”, Reid ordered. He’s become quite comfortable with ordering his brother around. We had to take the elevator, and I still have to wonder why every elevator has the alarm button down low enough for a two-year-old to reach. We just can’t ride an elevator without ringing the alarm! But then I was a little boy once, so I understand the fascination with buttons.

Nick had filled out all the paperwork online and printed it out, so all I had to do was sign in and wait. The woman called me over and asked for my ID to make a copy. Then she asked me, “Who are you? We need a relative here for this.” Nick had used his name on the paperwork as the father, but I had noticed my name in there somewhere too. “I’m the father”, I responded. Then she asked me who the other man was on the paper work. “He’s their other father,” I said. “Oh. OOOHHH!”, the lady said. Before I even thought, I told her, “It’s all very ‘Modern Family’”, and she laughed.

The boys found a toy in the corner and I sat down to wait with a magazine. Reid started to play with brochures, and I told him to leave them alone. “NO”, he said. So I took the brochure display and moved it up where he couldn’t reach them. And so it began, 40 minutes of the best kicking and screaming tantrum any two-year-old could muster. People in the waiting room were looking at me like, “OK, my life might really suck, but at least I’m not that guy over there with the screaming kid!” There was nothing I could do but shut my brain off. If I only had one kid, I could have taken him outside the office, but I had to stay with Dylan. I maintained my patience and tried to ignore the screaming, holding Reid the entire time. After about 20 minutes, we were called back to the exam room where he continued screaming. Surprisingly, he settled down for a hearing test (the woman was great with kids) and did fairly well after that. The doctor wants to see if the fluid goes away in his ears on its own in the next week, and if it doesn't, he'll need tubes put in. We'll be back for another round at this doctor's office.

I have no idea what Reid's problem was, or why my taking away brochures set off such a long tantrum, but that’s a two-year-old for you. Once we were done, Dylan decided it was his turn for a tantrum, apparently angry about his choice of stickers they offered him. He fell on the floor, pulled his shoes off and threw them across the waiting room. Luckily, Reid had stabilized by now, so I just put Dylan’s shoes in the diaper bag, picked up Dylan as he kicked and screamed (which isn’t easy because he’s now around 33 pounds) and headed for the elevator. Dylan’s fit was short and sweet, as he settled down to push the alarm in the elevator on the way down.

So the moral of the story is, patience can be learned. And must be learned when you’re the parent of two-year-old twins. Or maybe the moral is, two-year-olds and going out in public don’t mix!

A Trip to the ER

It's been a loooong weekend. Reid has a double ear infection and Nick had to go out of town for a work. Poor Reid, whining and crying now for three days. It just kills me to see either of them in pain. Then I had noticed yesterday blood on his pillow. After his nap, more blood, and lots of blood in his mouth! Luckily our dentist lives nearby so I had her take a look. She could see his tonsils were inflamed and bloody and suggested going to the emergency room, so we spent the evening at the hospital. I think Reid was more scared than in pain, but he cried the whole time while we were waiting. It turned out that he has big tonsils and they were infected too, but since he's already on antibiotics, he just had to continue on the same course. The main concern was that he could have been reacting to the antibiotics, but that was ruled out. Hopefully he'll be better soon.

I was talking to a good friend of mine today from high school on the phone and she was telling me about how her son, who's in high school, may be pretending to be gay, or letting people think he's gay, just to "be cool". Wow, times sure have changed since I was in high school. Sometimes I worry about how my boys will be treated in school for having two dads, but then I forget that kids know a lot more these days, and it's not like they'll be the only kids with same sex parents. You hear the horrible stories recently about gay teens being taunted and bullied in the news, but I have to wonder if these aren't very isolated issues, or at least hope they're not the norm. I was never bullied in school, but then I wasn't out, and really didn't understand my own feelings at the time. I guess I was just sort of asexual through my teen years, so it wasn't an issue for me.

Fall is here, and today is gloomy, cool, and rainy. No frost yet, so the trees aren't turning much. Seems so strange that the season is changing, but time goes on. We haven't figured out what the boys will be for Halloween, but they seemed excited to help put up Fall decorations in the house and Halloween lights outside. Every time we go to the store, they get so excited when they see all the "punkins". They know something is up! The holidays should be a lot of fun for them this year. They know what candy is too, so I'm sure they'll catch on to trick-or-treating fast.

My parents are coming to visit later in the week, and possibly Nick's mother as well. Should be interesting if she comes since I've never met her and she's never met the boys. I think it's nice that my parents are coming every six months to visit so hopefully the boys will have some memory of grandparents.